Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over, but had me believing it was always something that I’d done, sings Kimbra in Gotye’s “Somebody that I used to know.” In psychology, this phenomenon is called “gaslighting,” a term that has its origins in a 1938 play (and a 1940 film) called Gas Light, where a man leads his wife to believe that she is insane in order to steal from her. When she notices strange events, such as the gas light dimming that occurs when he turns on the lights in the attic to search for her collection of jewels, he tells her it’s just her imagination. His goal is to remove her credibility so that her complaints can be attributed to her psychosis, rather than to his misdeeds. Gaslighting is now used to refer to any attempt to make another person doubt their sense of reality.

Watching The Hunger Games come to life on screen (at, full disclosure, a midnight show), I found that actually witnessing the slaughter of several teenagers was more gut-wrenchingly graphic than it had seemed in the books. So when (PYM blogger and fellow social psychologist) Amie asked me whether the movie was gruesome, I had to admit it was. But because I can’t resist translating my bizarrely specific psychological know-how to daily advice, I encouraged her to use her favorite emotion regulation strategy while viewing the more horrifying scenes. Just what does this mean, and what other aspects of The Hunger Games could social psychology address? Allow me to elaborate. 

Pick a strategy, any strategy: Emotion regulation techniques

We have an arsenal of tricks we can use to handle a repulsive or upsetting image on the silver screen, known as emotion regulation strategies. My personal favorite is simply closing my eyes (or hiding them behind my fingers, staring at the Exit sign, etc.), which is a strategy known as “attention deployment,” aka distraction. By not fixating on the scary/gross/tragic scene, I calm myself down. This is a very effective strategy for dealing with images that are upsetting but fleeting, like a Tracker Jacker victim’s decomposing body.

There is no shortage of advice on how to recover from a bad break-up: keep busy, don’t contact your ex, go out with friends, make a break-up mix (preferably one that includes “I will survive”), etc. But according to a new study, something important is missing from this list.

In the study, led by David Sbarra and published in Psychological Science, participants who had recently separated from their spouses were recorded talking for four minutes in a stream-of-consciousness format about the separation. Then four judges rated the extent to which these statements included evidence of self-compassion, which involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding rather than beating yourself up when things go wrong.